French butter? Don’t think so.

“Do we not have French butter?” asks a regular customer, smiling. He knows am French by now, I’ve done a weekly shift at the community shop a while and he always has a nice word for the volunteer behind the counter, generally the weather. Today, butter is on his  mind.

Man queuing behind him:
“Why on earth would we stock French butter, it’s not like the French are doing us any favours with Brexit”.

Not the B word… dangerous for this Brexit obsessed Frenchie right?

So I say to the lovely regular customer:
“Oh no, am not talking about Brexit”

then turn round to the angry man (don’t know why he’s angry, but he is) put my hands up in the air and say:
“But look, France has given you a volunteer for your village shop. We’re not all bad”.
And smile.

Peace, man.

Lovely man says “Oh, I think that’s what you call a faux-pas”
Fellow volunteer laughs awkwardly.

Angry man “Mmmm. That Macron, he’s got it in for us hasn’t he, anyway, he’s not going to last, is he”

Well, I am trying to be nice and light, and polite, but if you serve me a line like this, I mean, come on! Too tempting.

“Well, don’t want to be rude but am not sure that May is going to last for very long either…”

He might be angrier. He snubs me and looks at the other volunteer standing beside me and changes the subject.

Good idea, we all relax.

As I am at the till, I have to scan his Daily Mail, with a smile, obviously. He pays the exact change without looking at me, he knows the price.

On leaving the shop, one hand opening the door, other hand waving his Daily Mail with his back to me “He won’t last that Macron”.

Annoying French woman that I am…
“Yes, France is in trouble, just like the rest of the world. Bye. Have a lovely day… And May won’t last“.

He didn’t hear the last bit, he was out by the time he’d finished his sentence, he went home having had the last word. Hopefully less angry. What I wanted to say is that the UK would do France no favours was it a Frexit the EU was facing, and the UK trying to keep that Single Market and Customs Union malarky in one working piece.

But that would have been rude right?


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